{"id":438,"date":"2022-10-27T15:01:49","date_gmt":"2022-10-27T15:01:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.professorbeautiful.org\/IveBeenThinkin\/?p=438"},"modified":"2022-10-27T15:03:00","modified_gmt":"2022-10-27T15:03:00","slug":"brass-brother-also-speaks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.professorbeautiful.org\/IveBeenThinkin\/?p=438","title":{"rendered":"Brass Brother Also Speaks"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Who’s In Charge Here?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

At a trim 35 lbs, I am neither svelte nor corpulent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My complexion will not be improved by facial cream,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

though a little silver polish might go a long way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am a 20-J Conn BBb tuba.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When my one enormous ear detects an amazing piece of music,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I sent out a telepathic message to my assistant,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

the self-styled “Professor Beautiful”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Do it! Do it!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Resistance is futile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter that it was written for cello or piano or flute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter that his skill level is not quite leveling up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s fun to watch him struggle to adapt the thing,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

solve a few puzzles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These humans and their breathing…  not a good look<\/p>\n\n\n\n

when playing 3 minutes of eighth notes nonstop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe drill a hole in the back of the neck,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

that’d work, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or, birds!   They can breathe out and in at the same time!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But we have to get the lips where the beaks are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, Dr. Moreau, calling Dr. Moreau!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Who’s In Charge Here? At a trim 35 lbs, I am neither svelte nor corpulent. My complexion will not be improved by facial cream, though a little silver polish might go a long way. I am a 20-J Conn BBb tuba. When my one enormous ear detects an amazing piece of music, I sent out […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-438","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-music"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.professorbeautiful.org\/IveBeenThinkin\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/438","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.professorbeautiful.org\/IveBeenThinkin\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.professorbeautiful.org\/IveBeenThinkin\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.professorbeautiful.org\/IveBeenThinkin\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.professorbeautiful.org\/IveBeenThinkin\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=438"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.professorbeautiful.org\/IveBeenThinkin\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/438\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":440,"href":"https:\/\/www.professorbeautiful.org\/IveBeenThinkin\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/438\/revisions\/440"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.professorbeautiful.org\/IveBeenThinkin\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=438"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.professorbeautiful.org\/IveBeenThinkin\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=438"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.professorbeautiful.org\/IveBeenThinkin\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=438"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}